How to Open the Door to Inner Peace

 In Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, Carole K. Truman writes, “When we start looking to ourselves for the resolution to our own problems, a definite shift takes place inside of us.” That line stopped me in my tracks. It’s such a simple truth, but when we really live it, everything changes.

Truman explains that this shift allows us to forgive ourselves and others more easily. “When we can honestly and maturely accept everyone, including ourselves, exactly where they are and the way they are in this very moment,” she writes, “great changes in ourselves, as well as others, will automatically occur.”

That’s been true in my own life. For years, I caught myself replaying painful situations and asking, “Why did this happen?” or “What could I have done differently?” But real peace didn’t come from analyzing—it came from turning inward and accepting responsibility for my own healing.

Truman also reminds us that it’s impossible for two people to see life the same way. “It is impossible for us to see a situation, problem, or challenge the same way another person sees it,” she emphasizes. Every person’s life begins with a completely different story—different circumstances, different feelings, different lessons. “Once again,” she asks, “who gave us a license to judge or blame?”

That hit me deeply. I’ve realized I can’t truly see through another person’s eyes, no matter how much I think I can. My only assignment, as she puts it, is “not to judge or blame, but to forgive.”

Her writing about childhood also resonated with me. She explains that when a child isn’t allowed to express their feelings, those emotions get buried. “When feelings are stuffed inside,” she writes, “a child may lash out, become withdrawn, or even ill.” Some children learn to make peace for everyone else—to keep the harmony no matter what it costs them. They grow up “fighting themselves and taking care of others at the expense of their own feelings and needs.”

That was me. I wasn’t allowed to have feelings as a child—it just “was what it was.” I learned to make things right for everyone else and lost touch with myself in the process. As Truman says, “stuffing feelings away only keeps us in suffering,” and those buried emotions keep recreating the same life patterns until we face them.

Healing, I’ve learned, comes from owning those feelings instead of hiding from them. Deepak Chopra puts it beautifully in Quantum Healing when he writes that real transformation happens at “the junction point between mind and matter—the point where consciousness actually starts to have an effect.”

Over the last few years, I’ve been on a mission of self-healing. I haven’t always had the money for therapy or retreats, but I’ve found tremendous healing through reading, reflecting, and doing the inner work. Books like Truman’s have helped me understand myself in ways I never did before.

I’ve shared these insights with people close to me, even though not everyone is ready to receive them. And that’s okay. As Truman says, when someone isn’t ready, they simply won’t hear it—but at least we can plant seeds.

If you’re reading this and something here resonates, I encourage you to explore Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. Start by looking within, without judgment or blame. Healing begins when we take responsibility for our own feelings, forgive ourselves, and recognize that peace doesn’t come from fixing others—it begins when we finally understand ourselves.

✨ I’d love to hear from you: Have you found any tools, books, or practices that have helped you process emotions or heal old wounds? Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below—sometimes the smallest insights can spark big changes in someone else’s journey.